just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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