I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
