I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
