i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
