Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
