Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
