we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They took my balls.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
