There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
