she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
