ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
