Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How does one acquire holy water?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
