walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Be still, my beating vagina.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
