We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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