I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
