I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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