Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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