why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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