their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
