my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
