I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
