Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
