just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
