.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
