K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
