my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
