as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
