Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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