i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
