Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize