he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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