I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
