i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
