yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize