As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
