i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
