Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize