Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
