Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
