Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
