well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
