The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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