i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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