I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
