When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
