I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
