He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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