I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
