i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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