Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
