what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
