We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
