He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
