i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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