my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
