then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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