Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
