I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
