I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
